I dare not to believe you died. You keep me going forward. Searching for you at every corner I take, I never stop looking. One day I will find you. One day I will be there for you. One day... One day I will do what I should have done then.
lundi 13 décembre 2010
Račak
I remember the first time I saw you. You smiled at me. But I didn't realize you were just smiling back. You turned a corner away while I was getting into the bus. Pushed inside I dared a look more but you were not there anymore. Mixed with the starting sound of the old bus engine, the sound of the shots seemed to vanish. I never saw you again.
Icarus
Thirst. My mind dries while longing for my fate. Blind to what is to come, lust overcomes fear and steps are made, one after another. I thought I had lost you, but you were hidden where I couldn't search for you. Nobody can run from what they have to become, but it's a run worth to make.
Whatever the path, whatever the deeds, whatever the sacrifices, they will be taken. Willingly or not.
Remember who you are here to become.
Abandon all hope, only then there will be any.
mercredi 9 juin 2010
SUMMMEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
FO-DA-SE!
Summer is here!
Damned, my hot blood boiled enough now. Time to unleash the crazyness and get over the edge and far beyond. The real question is WTF?????
I start to believe I am a Solar Panel, as soon as the sun came back, I found myself again, full speed ahead, what ever is the result. Time for just let off the steam and think after acting yeah! Summer is here, changes on their ways!
Summer is here!
Damned, my hot blood boiled enough now. Time to unleash the crazyness and get over the edge and far beyond. The real question is WTF?????
I start to believe I am a Solar Panel, as soon as the sun came back, I found myself again, full speed ahead, what ever is the result. Time for just let off the steam and think after acting yeah! Summer is here, changes on their ways!
samedi 1 mai 2010
Beltane
Abril acabou. Começou Beltane. O tempo das contenções acabou.
Agora e sempre a Abrir! Boas surpresas all the way O ano continua em grande pelas terras germânicas.
Novos comecos no horizonte, as miragens começam a se tornarem reais, os sonhos constroem se lentamente a sao hoje uma realidade a vista. Que dizer agora? Somente obrigado. Desde os absimos do infra-ego às torres da presunção do saber erguem-se os altivos conhecimentos ancestrais trazidos pelo vento. Raizes nunca perdidas mas conscientemente esquecidas erguem-se ao sol. Sentimentos pagaos num mundo deliberadamente cristão a alma eterna ascende ao seu patamar mais alto.
Agora e sempre a Abrir! Boas surpresas all the way O ano continua em grande pelas terras germânicas.
Novos comecos no horizonte, as miragens começam a se tornarem reais, os sonhos constroem se lentamente a sao hoje uma realidade a vista. Que dizer agora? Somente obrigado. Desde os absimos do infra-ego às torres da presunção do saber erguem-se os altivos conhecimentos ancestrais trazidos pelo vento. Raizes nunca perdidas mas conscientemente esquecidas erguem-se ao sol. Sentimentos pagaos num mundo deliberadamente cristão a alma eterna ascende ao seu patamar mais alto.
Chego o tempo da colheita.
dimanche 28 mars 2010
Expanding
Expanding into new territory and lands. First virtually, then physically. Time for a change... Growing, opening new horizons... Once again. Ripping the old to bring the new. Free of the chains left by other time.
lundi 22 février 2010
vendredi 1 janvier 2010
We, we are again
Life just goes down, whatever we do. It s our job to make it a thrilling, pleasant trip. All happens fast enough for us to understand it and to late to change it, anyway each moment count as it was the last. I can't say I didn't live enough. I've seen and done some pretty weird things in my life. Some that I can't really be proud of, some that I only got the reputation of having done, some that I did that I will never get credit for. But it's my life. I lived it with all my heart, tears, anger and fear, love and hate that I had. I tried to be rational, but, at the end, only my heart ruled.
Many times I was lost, alone. Looking for myself. I couldn't find me, neither what I wanted. Neither I knew. I fought wars that didn't belong to me. I defended people which didn't want to be defended. I Stand by people whom couldn't stand for themselves. I did more than I should. But I never did enough.I tried to teach. But I learned instead. I tried to learn. But I taught instead. I tried to be good, but I ended being bad. I tried to be bad, and I couldn't.
At the end, It was me, far away from the normal behaviour, the usual way of things. I lived I life of my own. To be here. Where I belong. For long, I waited, for long I though it was the time, for long I forgot what I wanted. Not anymore. Now is the moment, now I got you. Now we are one again. Now, again, nothing can stop us.
Now, we are.
Many times I was lost, alone. Looking for myself. I couldn't find me, neither what I wanted. Neither I knew. I fought wars that didn't belong to me. I defended people which didn't want to be defended. I Stand by people whom couldn't stand for themselves. I did more than I should. But I never did enough.I tried to teach. But I learned instead. I tried to learn. But I taught instead. I tried to be good, but I ended being bad. I tried to be bad, and I couldn't.
At the end, It was me, far away from the normal behaviour, the usual way of things. I lived I life of my own. To be here. Where I belong. For long, I waited, for long I though it was the time, for long I forgot what I wanted. Not anymore. Now is the moment, now I got you. Now we are one again. Now, again, nothing can stop us.
Now, we are.
mercredi 25 novembre 2009
Rammstein
Rammstein, live at Home,
It all started with a long queue at the entrance, actually not really well planned. One long unwatched queue where everybody where sneaking in (as me hehehe).
After a 5 Euros for a beer and a Rammstein "plastic glass take me as a souvenir" and a long standing wait Combichrist (electro-darkwave) provided a nice warm up show! One guy had a tuff time then, he was "attached" to one of the drummers of this band as the little backstage help. And it got 30min of coming in and out putting everything back in as Drum pimp was kicking his drums off stage and sending all that he could all over the place. And I though I had a bitch job. He was bitched for half and hour in front of thousands persons. Both drum pimp and bitchy boy made a great job, thanks for it!
20min of wait...The public, impatient, started to whistle... the heat was beating people down only to be calmed down by an air-conditioning quick release. Too bad people were smoking in there, not nice for the non-smokers, but ok... if the alcoholics can have their drugs, why shouldn't they?
Lights off... Rammleid, the opening of the new album start to tune, while the band dig their way in false walls or torch them as we were in a safe. They look like industrial worker/sado-maso freaks. Great the show is beginning...
AND THE ARENA WENT WILD!
I was always surprised to see most german fans really quiet during concerts, even in harder stuff, but this time... Woa! They really got crazy, just like if someone has told to the all Arena that each one of you won the lottery!
As a portuguese fan, it was like being in a Moonspell concert full of portugueses, but looking at the great variety of ages and type of persons, I would say Xutos e Pontapés, or for the frenchies, Mylène Farmer or Johnny Halliday. So much different people enjoying it in a different way! Near the front row, I felt the heat of the flames and the german fans, some lusty chicks started to tease every men nearby while the fans where jumping and mosh-pitting all over. I was too near to avoid it, so time to time, I was right in the middle of it. Nice. Too bad for one guy and his girlfriend, he was right in it and not understanding why everybody else was being pushy all sudden.
Most of the concert was about the new album, in a very straight forward playlist, leaving all chanting the new songs, even the censored ones; the show kept going, to the assistance delight not being so trashy as the pussy video. No sex on stage, but we got the already famous fire show on. Damn; that was hot. Flames, explosions, running man bursting in flames... we got all of it.
Old tunes put all fans jumping around but even when they didn’t play the seeman song the boat surfing over our heads, yeah, I got it over my head (even If I only touched it, I not as big as the people whom were around me).
2 encore to finish the fans with explosions of energy and heavy pyrotechnics and suddenly I realised that 2h30 had just past. Lights went on. All where moving to the usual places, toilets, beer deposit merchandising and the exit.
But in the end it was worth every penny, powerful, hard, energetic and stress reliever. Some creativity, some wild moments a great dose of professionalism and a great show was provided. One of the best shows of 2009,
4 ,5 \m/ out of 5!
For the playlist I actually didn't take notes, but after confirmation it could be this one*:
- Rammlied
- B********
- Waidmanns Heil
- Keine Lust
- Weißes Fleisch
- Feuer frei!
- Wiener Blut
- Frühling in Paris
- Ich tu dir weh
- Liebe ist für alle da
- Benzin
- Links 2-3-4
- Du hast
- Pussy
- Sonne
- Haifisch
- Ich will
- Engel
mercredi 11 novembre 2009
Re-centering
Building from scratch also means finding the centering mark for one self. In this wonderful new world one still look for attachment from old memories. Even those from a painful past. Renewal is not only embracing new starts, but setting a finish line for old patterns.
Bringing from the past the good, leaving the rest in Oblivion.
Slowly, I see my past mistakes opened by new eyes on new ground...
Changes occuring while understanding them... without stress, without pain... just being.
Bringing from the past the good, leaving the rest in Oblivion.
Slowly, I see my past mistakes opened by new eyes on new ground...
Changes occuring while understanding them... without stress, without pain... just being.
vendredi 16 octobre 2009
slowly but surely
Like a chess game, the pieces are set. Moved, one by one, for an only purpose. Even if we don t see it right now, it all makes sense after the final move.
mardi 6 octobre 2009
Goth... again
Dammit I feel the little Goth in me growing...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROnXv7Z7v28
Again I feel the thrill of hitting the road... once again... =)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROnXv7Z7v28
Again I feel the thrill of hitting the road... once again... =)
jeudi 24 septembre 2009
MABON
Mabon is finished. Starting of new leads conscious of the old trails and of any stone encountered before. Stones are now part of the path instead of blocking it. As long as I can see they were stones. Gifts are given, sorrow forgiven and light fades up with a smile over the face.
Sun is no more, dark night blossoms as an eternal reminder of the the blessings given and to be given.
Rituals thankfully repeated are the winged desire of a better now, in which the past is the lesson to be learned before ascending to what is aimed.
But enough talk.
Do is the right verb now.
Sun is no more, dark night blossoms as an eternal reminder of the the blessings given and to be given.
Rituals thankfully repeated are the winged desire of a better now, in which the past is the lesson to be learned before ascending to what is aimed.
But enough talk.
Do is the right verb now.
jeudi 10 septembre 2009
I don t like...
Everytime I stop somewhere I found people I don t like.
Living in Portugal I hated those limited people always around like they owned the truth. Too idiots to see the world is nor black nor white but a great scale of grey.
Then I found the frenchies and they natural arrogance due to a great past and an empty present. A country based on a deformed image of the "mode" and the "culture". But by the end, they are just as empty as the one I left in Portugal.
Then I came to Germany. Here also quite a lot of limited people. Very centered in their own world, sure of their über alle capacity and work only vision.
Yeah, I m sure, being an idiot as nothing to do with nationality.
Too many times I forget I found beautiful people all the way, even and mostly being different than me. I should focus more on that, instead of complaining about the assholes of the world... otherwise I will lost myself counting them...
Living in Portugal I hated those limited people always around like they owned the truth. Too idiots to see the world is nor black nor white but a great scale of grey.
Then I found the frenchies and they natural arrogance due to a great past and an empty present. A country based on a deformed image of the "mode" and the "culture". But by the end, they are just as empty as the one I left in Portugal.
Then I came to Germany. Here also quite a lot of limited people. Very centered in their own world, sure of their über alle capacity and work only vision.
Yeah, I m sure, being an idiot as nothing to do with nationality.
Too many times I forget I found beautiful people all the way, even and mostly being different than me. I should focus more on that, instead of complaining about the assholes of the world... otherwise I will lost myself counting them...
lundi 27 juillet 2009
New starts
New start, in new directions, aiming for a better life. Soon, but can t way for it. Mabon will be fully celebrated this year
Wacken is here!
2 days left for the annual Metalheads Meeting. Packing is still not done, but the list is done, just need to get some few vital items to get the gear all together. One more trip with 20 kilos of equipment and food. That will end with most of it left in the camping area. Bringing back memories, new friends and energy for the rest of the new year.
Next year will be different. I ll look for a VIP ticket. Or I ll stay here. Well, in that case, I ll go to another festival, that s for sure. Hellfest? Bloodfest? Desert Festival? Mmmmm so many choices...
Yadayadayada... I still have the 20th Wacken anniversary to go through. This year has been better planified, running order ready, food and drinks ready, gear ready... rain or shine...
UP THE IRONS!
Next year will be different. I ll look for a VIP ticket. Or I ll stay here. Well, in that case, I ll go to another festival, that s for sure. Hellfest? Bloodfest? Desert Festival? Mmmmm so many choices...
Yadayadayada... I still have the 20th Wacken anniversary to go through. This year has been better planified, running order ready, food and drinks ready, gear ready... rain or shine...
UP THE IRONS!
jeudi 16 juillet 2009
lundi 6 juillet 2009
Expect the unexpected
Life is really a stage where all kind of surprises pop up. From bad to good, or excellent to not so bad a few things can really be taken for granted. Like the apparent chaos in which all happens without a clue of logic of expectancy.
Summer... a perfect time for surprises... blame it on the weather, the Sun, the Midsummer... who knows. This still young July provided a full bag of surprises, far more good ones than bad ones. Actually only one bad, that led me to... a good news instead. Whatever rules out, it s always for a greater good.
Always look at the bright side of life ;o)
Summer... a perfect time for surprises... blame it on the weather, the Sun, the Midsummer... who knows. This still young July provided a full bag of surprises, far more good ones than bad ones. Actually only one bad, that led me to... a good news instead. Whatever rules out, it s always for a greater good.
Always look at the bright side of life ;o)
jeudi 25 juin 2009
EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN
1. Share everything.
2. Play fair.
3. Don't hit people.
4. Put things back where you found them.
5. Clean up your own mess.
6. Don't take things that aren't yours.
7. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
8. Wash your hands before you eat.
9. Flush.
10. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
11. Live a balanced life--learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
12. Take a nap every afternoon.
13. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
14. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
15. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup--they all die. So do we.
16. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned--the biggest word of all--LOOK.
-Robert Fulghum
2. Play fair.
3. Don't hit people.
4. Put things back where you found them.
5. Clean up your own mess.
6. Don't take things that aren't yours.
7. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
8. Wash your hands before you eat.
9. Flush.
10. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
11. Live a balanced life--learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
12. Take a nap every afternoon.
13. When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
14. Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
15. Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup--they all die. So do we.
16. And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned--the biggest word of all--LOOK.
-Robert Fulghum
mercredi 24 juin 2009
Going out of hand
WTF!
Madness is spreading. First unfair rulings based on personal issues and now black out required. Why? Probably shame about those same ruling? Is silence a way to avoid problems? Not a chance.
But when silence is wanted I am not used to shut up.
Madness is spreading. First unfair rulings based on personal issues and now black out required. Why? Probably shame about those same ruling? Is silence a way to avoid problems? Not a chance.
But when silence is wanted I am not used to shut up.
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